Trash Worthy Recipes

You had such high hopes for it, the picture made you drool, and for days it made you giddy just thinking about it.

And then disaster struck. It was wrong. All wrong.

You’re first in shock, then angry, then depressed.

 

Welcome to trash-talk center.

This is where I share my culinary failures one by one – sometimes user error but mostly recipe error.

Sometimes inspiration gone wrong.

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Sweet + Sweet != Yumminess

Creativity struck. How about adding fresh oranges and nutella in a crepe? Change from the standard strawberries and nutella combination sounded appealing.

The combination wasn’t horrible but I’d classify it as “too” sweet (sadly, there is such a thing). Adding sweet oranges to an already sweet nutella apparently was not such a great idea. Then there’s that juice that squirts out as you bite down…yeeuck. I know understand why nutella is paired with something with a contrasting flavor: tart,  tangy, or earthy (nuts). Nutella mixed with orange zest or pears is a killer combination though!

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grilled-eggplant-sandwiches.jpg 

In theory – tasty.

Probably poorly executed or just…*ahem* crappy recipe?

Feta, tomato, slice of basil sandwiched inbetween eggplant slices brushed with an olive oil and balsamic mixture. Sounds pretty tasty, doesn’t it? The eggplant turned out to be too mushy (I can’t stand mushy things) and the texture was just…MORE MUSHY!

Placing all the ingredients at once was wrong – next time I think I’ll cook the components separately and then assemble.

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4 cups of confectioners sugar for frosting 18 cupcakes?
 Someone was smoking something when they wrote the recipe…

 I even halved the amount of sugar and it was still too sweet.

I’m bitter, again. I’ve had a similar recipe but as a bundt cake and it was pure happiness. I thought cupcakes would be the mini-versions of pure happiness but alas, I was wrong. The recipe was off and I’m going to have to go through my Mom’s cookbook to find the right one. I think I’ll stick to a bundt pan next time. It was abnormally difficult to get the rum to seep through the cupcakes.

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I was so, so inspired to make a classy meatball with homemade breadcrumbs and fresh herbs. I had the perfect loaf of rosemary and sage baguettes, perfectly staled to make breadcrumbs. I nearly grated my hand for this recipe and I splurged on fresh herbs when I could have bought some fresh blueberries for the same price. And for what? Tasteless, flavorless, greasy meatballs. I’m bitter. Tasteless! Oops, I said that already.

If I had a dog, he might like them though. One day, my puppy will be the victim of my failed recipe adventures. Then my pictures will be of my dog eating experiments gone wrong. I can’t wait!

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cumin-chile-spiced-pecans-small

It’s like I just threw $10 in the trash can when I could have made batches of pecan sandies!

This is the last time I’ll use 4 cups of pecans on a new recipe (with no ratings). My boss brought in some awesome spiced pecans (cumin, chile powder and some other spices) so I was inspired to look for a similar recipe.  I tried and kept trying.. thinking I could fool myself into liking it. The results? well, it’s on the trash-worthy page, isn’t it? 

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bad-pancake-recipe-custom.jpg

 All looks. No substance.

Kind of like some…ok, I won’t go there. Still on a mission to find the perfect pancake recipe.

burned-rice.jpg

 Hiatus for the week as I’m in SF for training – no kitchen either! :( So I’ll leave you with some abstract art.

No, I’m kidding. It’s just another failed attempt at cooking rice in a pot. I need my rice cooker!!

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Crime scene: Strawberry compote wasted on bland pancakes…

I wish I had something good to say something about the pancakes – this was one of my very first attempts at making pancakes. They turned out bland, bland, and boring!

8 thoughts on “Trash Worthy Recipes

  1. Any ideas for what to do with a botched pecan tart shell? I was in a hurry…I didn’t let it cool long enough and it cracked into one million pieces. I’d hate to toss the reminants….they are delicious and expensive.

    Hi Cathy!

    Use them as a topping on vanilla ice cream or make a fruit cobber and use them as the topping. Since it’s already cooked be sure to add them only a few minutes before the cobber is done so you don’t turn up with burnt pieces!

  2. Haha I love your blog, especially the trash-worthy part! There’s so much to learn from mistakes when cooking! (I should know…I make a lot of them!!) Good luck with the taro pearl recipe…I also found a recipe in an old Taiwanese cookbook:

    1/2 C pear sago/tapioca
    1 1/2 C diced taro
    4 C water
    1/2 C sugar
    1/2 c thick coconut milk

    1. boil 4 C of water with the taro and simmer 10 minutes until taro is soft, add sugar and continue to cook until sugar is dissolved. Pour in coconut milk and turn off heat immediately
    2. boil 3 C of water, add pearls and bring to another boil. reduce heat to medium and simmer until translucent; remove. Pour pearls into tar and serve either hot or cold.

    I don’t know about you, but it seems to be a lot of water in this recipe…but then again, in my recipe, I should probably add more water…

    Please, let me know how it goes!! :)

  3. Pancakes are bland and boring. That’s why pancake houses mess with them so fully. IMHO the best you might do at home is a flour blend with as much as 50% whole wheat; fried in butter. The whole wheat kicks up the flavor. Need I speak to the benefits of butter? Real maple syrup is de rigueur. (Cornstarch thickened strawberry topping? OMG)

    Another approach is the “Joy of Cooking” crepe recipe. The batter is nearly all egg – again fried in butter. The stronger tasting your eggs (e.g. local-raised bug-fed free-range) the richer the crepe’s flavors. Then, crepes give you the excuse for exotic fillings and syrups. Crepes Suzette with Cointreau have a justly deserved place of honor in the pantry pantheon. If you expand your category of “pancakes” to include “crepes” you may find satisfaction in this rule change. Then try caviar on your blini.

    American food was dreadful and has gotten worse. Traditional pancakes are honored better in memory than the mouth. Unless a recipe is rooted in Native American culture or other displaced ethnicities, it is not likely to titallate your tastebuds. Visit the American Indian Museum in D.C. for a sense of rich indigenous foodstuffs. Ref: Cajun. Also, ref: BirdsEye.

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  5. Aw, this was a really quality post. In theory I’d like to write like this also – taking time and real effort to make a good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and never seem to get anything done… Regards…

  6. I just cant stop reading this. Its so cool, so full of information that I just didnt know. Im glad to see that people are actually writing about this issue in such a smart way, showing us all different sides to it. Youre a great blogger. Please keep it up. I cant wait to read whats next.

    • Thanks for the comments! It always irks me when recipes go wrong and ingredients are wasted! I guess it’s just part of the learning process, right? ;)

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